Is fear a sin?

A few years ago, I heard someone describe sin as “something that takes you away from God.” I can relate and agree with this. Although this definition is not in the Bible (as far as I know), it seems to fit with the many examples and details we read about.

So, if you follow these guidelines, sin could be any number of things we do on a normal basis. For example, I have found that my spirit is drained when I watch very violent and graphic television. I sometimes spend too much time on the computer/Internet when I could easily be doing a Bible study or prayer time. This is also where the materialism comes into play. I was also told that you can tell a person’s heart by looking at his/her checkbook and dayplanner.

However, the motivation for this blog…fear. Does it ever take you away from doing godly things? Have you skipped out on serving people because you are afraid?

Wednesday, I drove by a homeless man and immediately was pained in my heart. He was in a busy area that usually doesn’t have beggars. He had a cardboard sign that said, “Homeless. I need help.” It was so simplistic and yet so complicated at once. How could I help? What could I do? I would have loved to sit down and chat with him for hours…or better yet, take him to a warm place to stay and get cleaned up. But, I was afraid. I was afraid of all the horrible stories I have heard. I am sure he had a knife or a gun…something that would bring bodily damage (insert sarcasm). And even if I had pulled out of the situation safely, what would my parents say if they ever found out that I put myself “in danger.”

So, here is a classic situation of fear keeping me from doing what I know Jesus would do. How many times did fear stop Jesus or the disciples? They were arrested, beaten, and even killed for doing God’s work. Is fear a viable excuse to God to not spread His word or help His people?

Although, we shouldn’t seek out trouble, I cannot ignore what the Bible says.

Psalm 23:4 “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

Psalm 56:4 “When I am afraid, I put my trust in You. In God whose Word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?”

Luke 12:4-5 “I tell you my friends, do not fear those who kill the body, and after that have nothing that they can do. But I will warn you who to fear; fear him, who after he has killed, has authority to cast into hell.”

I send this blog out to all my friends and family and beg for your input. Can you give me personal opinions, or better yet, Scripture to answer these questions?

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5...

YES!!! 10 days and counting until I arrive in Nashville! Am I excited? You bet!!!

What am I excited about? Seeing family and friends! Nothing else matters. Well, not entirely true...I can't wait for Casa's chips, cheap bookstores, Dairy Queen blizzards, the Harry Potter movie, Red Lobster biscuits, Wal-Mart having every item on the face of the earth, and Arby's lunch menu. But really, I am dreadful of the materialistic society I will be entering.

Please pray that the Lord guard my heart from the evil desires that can crowd the love. Please pray that my mind be full of wisdom and compassion. I do not want to get wrapped up in the "ease" of having everything. In Honduras, I don't suffer by any means. Yet, it is a different lifestyle that helps prevent materialism. Please pray that any culture shock I experience may bring me closer to our God above and His will.

I love you all and anticipate seeing you!

The day after Thanksgiving

November 25, 2005
What a blessing to be able to do what I truly love! Yesterday, we built a house for a family in Nueva Oriental. This is the same community I visited not long after arriving in August. Many were present: Randy, Melissa, Alora, Katrina, Dominic, Tonya, Whitney, Niki, Grammy, Nana, Chris (all from the Kluge family), Joe, Rachel (his girlfriend from Nashville), Karen, and me.


First, we tore down the existing house that was made by nailing together pallets.


This is the grandmother that lived in the house; you can see all her belongings strewn outside the house.


























Then, we went through the process of a normal TORCH building style. For the first time ever, I felt overheated (didn’t help that I had Cinnabon for breakfast). This made me stop building and rest in the area where the kids were. That ended it for me…as soon as I felt better, they had my full attention. We had fun coloring, drawing, playing Tic Tac Toe, and taking pictures with my digital.
































Here is Karen with Sara(the girl I told the story about several months ago). She is a neighbor of the lady who received the house.



















Overall, it was a great day! Thanks to Central church of Christ who supplied the materials for the build!

Love you all! Jennifer

Happy Thanksgiving!

So, what does Thanksgiving mean to you? turkey, cranberry sauce, football, pumpkin pie, family, phone calls, stuffing, cards, deviled eggs, ham, relaxing, friends, corn, sweet tea, traveling?

All of those things normally play into the holiday back home--for me, at least. This year was somewhat different. Here in Honduras things were normal as could be. Because the school where I work is based on an American schedule, we have today and tomorrow off. Yet, when Karen and I ventured into town, the daily events were taking place for everyone else. We spent the day running errands and simply having fun. We had time to just walk around the mall and browse--it felt like a normal day back home.

When we got home from the mall, Karen and I (Jen stayed at home because she wasn't feeling well) went to the Kluge's house for dinner--a big dinner (very good with all the fixings you can imagine). Seven of the Kluge family flew in from the States to celebrate the holiday with Randy, Melissa, and the girls. So, we had a large number. But here is where the challenge comes in...yeah, you knew it was coming...
How did you spend your Thanksgiving?

You have heard my story and know I did nothing noteworthy. In fact, I wish I could say I took part in what uplifted my Spirit today. Many of the Kluges went early this morning to buy food and passed it out in a community not far from here (San Miguel). How amazing! They took advantage of the gifts God has given them by blessing others in His name. I can only hope we can do the same EVERY day. "As we have opportunity, let us do good to others."

When I woke up this morning, I was psyched about shopping and buying Cinnabon. Then, later I learned about how others were spending the day. The day is about being thankful, especially for the blessing of the ability to praise our Lord. So, here is my thankful list (in no order) that I contribute to the day.

The grace given by our Lord; more than enough food; a wise mentor; blankets in cold weather; sewer systems; sidewalks; car insurance; flushing toilet paper; faithful friends; electricity; paved roads; an honest brother; stick-shift vehicles; a loving family; the Lord's guidance; socks and tennis shoes; a supportive church family; Lingo phones; ovens; the Bible.

Remember that I LOVE YOU ALL! I miss you even though I am thankful for this opportunity God has given me and the flexibility that you all have allowed in letting me leave to follow his will.
Jennifer Michelle

Prayer

[Two blogs in one day!!! What in the world is going on with Jen? School was cancelled today because it is too cold.]

Every morning before school we have a fifteen-minute devotional with the faculty. Even though it makes the day start that much earlier (and I’m not a morning person), it is wonderful to praise our God as our first act and as a group. It truly puts the day into perspective. We have a basic routine to follow. Mondays are “prayer request” days; everyone shares anything on their hearts that they wish for us to pray about. The Spiritual Life Coordinator types them up that night so that we have a hand-out the next day. On each Tuesday we break into small groups (usually 3 to 5 people) to lift up the requests mentioned the day before.

Yesterday, after my group finished, I looked up and took a moment to let what I was seeing and hearing soak in. All of my peers were bowed down, eyes closed, and whispering the desires and hopes of people they barely knew. I am moved by the fact that so many people are bringing these requests before God. And that they would continue to pray throughout the weeks to come.

How often do you take prayer for granted? It is so vital to our daily walks with our Lord. I have found that prayer is the link that cannot be left out of a solid relationship with God. There is a direct connection between how close you feel to our Heavenly Father and how often and how sincerely you pray. I once read a statement that hit home, especially when discussing prayer: If you don’t feel close to God, guess who moved?

Here's something for your soul to feast upon...

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this if God's will for you in Christ Jesus." ~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weaknesses. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words that cannot express." ~Romans 8:26

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." ~James 5:16

...As I have learned from many people, don't just take the verses alone but take time to study the passages from which they come.

Gracious Heavenly Father,
Thank you for this way to speak directly with you. Thank you for listening when so many others don’t. Thank you for your grace and understanding. Please show me grace when I stray and bring me back to your loving Presence. Open my eyes and ears to your answers, whether they come from music, the Bible, or Christian friends. Show me your counsel and comfort that only the Holy Spirit can relay.
In the precious name of your Son,
Amen

Pictures Below

Can you believe I am actually on my blog?!? I have finally updated the Tela trip and put more pictures. Enjoy them!
Love you all,
Jen

Enjoying a Day Off

Three months today! Can you believe it? It seems like yesterday that I flew out of Nashville. For my anniversary, I received great gifts—no school, time with good friends, a visit to Santa Ana, and ringside wrestling seats.

Yesterday was windy, chilly, and foggy. Towards the end of the day, it was announced that Thursday would be a “Cold Day.” Here in Honduras it doesn’t snow. However, in the mountains it can get fairly cold (especially in the mornings). The school has no central heating system. So, when it gets to a certain temperature, school will be delayed or even cancelled. Today was originally on the schedule as a half-day, so the administration cancelled the entire day.

I spent the morning with Jen Wright, Karen Vaughan, and Christina (lady that works with the Mi Esperanza project). It was a blessing to have the arrival of Jen and Karen on Saturday. The two of them have made the incredible leap to come to Honduras. They have committed to working at the new orphanage in Santa Ana, which is being built right now. Can you imagine making such a decision? They have decided to commit to caring for and loving twenty children. I cannot even fathom such a depth of faith! Please, please, please keep these remarkable women and the children in your prayers. God is going to do amazing things. I cannot wait until December when we will see the beginning of an incredible time.

Around 1:30, Jen, Karen, and I picked up Katie and Dalton to drive out to Santa Ana. The work is unbelievable. Each week seems to be making tremendous progress. We worked with sand to make cement, picked up trash, and removed excess concrete from around the sidewalks.

The four of us girls picked up pizza on the way back to the Hines’ house. Tim picked up Campero’s chicken; we feasted tonight. After dinner, it is always good to have some good entertainment…Katie and Dylan had a discussion on who was stronger. Well, only a proper wrestling match would settle this. It depends on who you ask, but I say that Katie was the champion. :)

Love you all!
Jennifer

Last weekend at Tela

Day of the Soldier was celebrated Monday the 24th. Because of the four-day weekend, Gena arranged for several of us to take a trip to the coast. Gena's vehicle included Joe, Katie, Dalton, and Dylan. I rode with A.B., Alora, and Katrina. The nine of us had a blast...relaxing, tanning, bicycling, eating fish, swimming, and even body surfing in the Atlantic. Let me just say that I consumed enough salt water to float in the pool; I don't think I really got the hang of the body surfing. :) Overall, it was good to get away and enjoy another part of Honduras.

Jennifer

The more...the merrier!

Saturday, October 29th

This morning Joe picked up Katie and me at 7:45 a.m. (yes, on a Saturday!). We made a quick stop at Wendy's for breakfast--they are pretty good. Then, we made the 45-minute trek to Santa Ana. Once again, today was a day of learning during my whopping two hours of work.

"The more...the merrier!" When we arrived at the work site for the new orphanage, there were two piles of dirt/sand/rock (one medium size and the other large). Five men and one of Timateo's sons each had a wheelbarrow and a shovel to transfer the dirt to the base of the orphanage foundation. Katie and I were assigned to this task. We were all merrily working along for about 15 minutes. Then, the men went on their breakfast break. Whoa, nelly! Three workers don't move as much as eight.

This is how it is with Christians. Three workers, thirty workers, three hundred workers all for the kingdom. Think of all the people of the world. How many people claim to believe in God? It narrows down more when you ask how many are Christians. How many of those are actively working for the Lord? And, I'm not talking about elders, preachers, and missionaries. Everyone can be working to influence our world. Remember, "in this world but not of it." Do you seek to spread the Good News to those you encounter daily? Do you show the love of our Heavenly Father to your fellow man? Do you look to see Jesus? Never discount where you are--God has you there for a specific reason.

(P.S. Once the guys came back, we finished one pile of dirt and most of the other. I am sure they will finish the second pile soon as they work together.)

Missing my home church, especially (where your heart has a home).
Love you all!
Jen

Relaxing, for once

Last weekend, I went grocery shopping on a Saturday (no, it wasn’t at night, Joy). Every Saturday morning, a school bus goes into town to take those of us who choose to go. It is usually a crowd of about fifteen. “Market days” involve leaving at 6:30 a.m. to go to the stadium where a HUGE area is full of all kinds of fresh foods (fruits, vegetables, meats) for very low prices. Then, the bus swings by the grocery store before going back to the school—it usually returns at noon. Those days are long mornings; every other Saturday is a “market day.” Thank goodness this Saturday was a simple 8 a.m. departure for the grocery store, Chinese restaurant, and a bread bakery. Yes, Alan, I said Chinese...and it was really good! I think they had the best egg rolls I have ever had.

Then, I had a nice nap before heading to the Hines house for dinner and some Rummy. The day was simple and laid-back. I enjoyed the time to relax; many weekends have been full.

Sunday, Joe drove Katie and I to Los Pinos. It is so nice to see this church active in the community. The kids are so much fun to be around—today there was a piñata that entertained for a good while. Look below for some great pictures of a fun afternoon.














I will write again soon with more details of the previous weeks.
Love you all, Jen

Communication

Today, I received a “sunshine card.” :) Doesn’t that make you want to smile? I sure did! I was sitting at my desk when the library assistant brought in the mail with this bright yellow postcard. My home church has this service of mailing out postcards of encouragement that members write. It was such a blessing to be reminded of those back home who are so supportive. I love you all!

Okay, okay, okay…so, I have neglected the blogspot. I apologize to all of you wonderful people who have kept up with me. I have been good about E-mailing for the most part. I owe a few return E-mails this weekend. However, in talking with family and friends recently, I have learned that I am not getting many E-mails. I have no idea why the service isn’t working properly. If you do not receive a response from me by this Monday, then I never got your E-mail.

And speaking of communication, I am happy to report that I now have a working phone for people to call me with no charge to you. The only downside is that I am rarely home to answer it. Messages are always welcome, and they brighten my day. I promise to return the call as soon as possible. If you wish to call, send me an E-mail so that I can send the number to you.

Galatians 6:10,
Jennifer

Three lessons in one day

Actually, I could say that I learned multiple lessons today. However, three stick out in my mind.

Today, I was blessed to work with a small group in Nueva Oriental to build a house--Joe, Katie, Dalton, Dylan, Kyle (a fellow teacher at Pinares), Will and his son (Hondurans who work with TORCH). Even though we didn't finish, it was a good day. I look forward to returning to such a fabulous community.

Half-way through the work, a little girl somehow cut her leg. It was a very small wound that barely bled. Nevertheless, she was shaken up and needed attention. Thank goodness we had brought a first-aid kit. Too bad it was located in the truck at the top of the mountain. [For those of you who have not been to Honduras, don't take me lightly. When I say "mountain", I mean MOUNTAIN!] So, when you are hiking up and down a significant incline, you have time to think. This is what I came up with on my travels.

Number one: "Barbwire can be good and bad." Has your washer or dryer ever broken? Seriously, I am not changing the subject...Yesterday, the washer broke. I was not frustrated, because I knew fixing it wouldn't take that much time. Throughout the path I took on the mountain, there was barbed wire fencing. Protection and boundaries were the original intentions. But today, the fences were covered in drying laundry. Often we are so consumed with the conviences of life that we forget they are actually luxuries. Millions of people throughout the world will not depend upon two machines to take care of their clothing.

Number two: "Small is not good." Don't get me wrong, this is a generalization. There are times when small is good--but it wasn't good today. Do you know what to call a solitude pebble? Priceless. Do you know what you call a thousand pebbles together? An injury waiting to happen. Downhill...uphill...it doesn't matter! I think I fell five times (going both ways). I searched for solid footing as much as possible, but found few areas. Ready for the analogy? Our "Christian" sins (white lies, gossip, jealousy...take your pick) seem small, insignificant, and unimportant. Yet, when you let them get clumped together, they will bring you down--FAST. And, I am not saying "maybe"--it is just a matter of time. Don't start half-way down the mountain and get cocky--you are going to fall when that clump finds you. Put your trust and faith in our Solid Rock.

Number three: "Follow your experienced leader." Not just the guy walking in front of you, but someone who truly knows the path. I have seven years of "following the rules" in Honduras. I have never been so stringent to follow the rules in my life as much as I have those two-week periods in Honduras. I know them like the back of my hand. Ask any TORCH member--the number one rule is to STAY IN GROUPS! "Always at least four people--one of which must be a male." Well, when only six Gringos are present to build a house, you don't have much room for subtraction. So, I decided that my conditioned reaction to grab even one other person was going to have to be put aside. I had formed a bond with a twelve-year-old girl named Sara. I felt comfortable and safe with her, so I asked her to lead me back to the truck. Two females--one a child and one an American. This community has been very receptive to our presence; it is not like I was hiking through gang country with a $500 bill posted to my forehead. However, I can admit that the first five minutes made me uneasy. Then, I realized, "Why are you worried? This girl is leading you, and God is protecting you both." I then focused on staying close to my guide and trying to learn from the way she climbed with ease. I was amazed by the fact that she knows this mountain so well that she didn't need to look down. It was comforting to be able to trust someone and simply follow what you know is right. It is like this with God. There are so many distractions and difficulties (the fears, the incline, the pebbles). Yet, if we focus on Him and stay close, we will make it to the the destination. No one said it would be easy. But He will be there to hold your hand when you are unsure. He will be there to help you up when you do fall. Stay close to our Guide and learn from Him.

Well, that is all for tonight. Scroll down to see some pictures of today. We had a lot of fun and made some new friends.

Love you all,
Jennifer Michelle

From the beginning

Okay, I said I would write about previous events that kept me busy. So, here we go...

I arrived in the lovely country August 3rd and was immediately overwhelmed by the solitude of it all. As I traveled alone, I realized how much I had depended upon my fellow Americans and the group leaders. Everything came into focus as to what was happening. I was not in the U.S. and wouldn't be for some time. This was not a two-week trek; I was in it for the long haul.

This is when I panicked. Yes, panicked. For everyone around me, I was leaving. Until I was in the Tegucigalpa airport (one of five Gringos), it had not hit me what was occuring. I had committed to this incredible, life-changing experience. I had left my family and friends. I had put all my faith in God and was following Him blindly. So, of course, Satan goes after those he does not control. And he came hard for a good, solid four hours.

Looking back, I can see the hand of God clearly guiding me in that first day here. When I agreed to move down here, I was informed that August 3rd was the last day to arrive. I was bummed, because I wanted to spend more time with my family and friends. I thought it was ridiculous that I had to be in Honduras 15 days before school started. Yet, God was placing everything perfectly for me.

I could not have survived my first day here without the presence of Esperanza Massana, Katie Palmer, Anibal Tamacus, and Rodolfo Herrera. [I love you guys!] They had all stayed to tag onto the end of Marc Tyndall's trip. That first night here, they drove down to the school and picked me up for just some simple fellowship time and a devotional. How amazing! God knew how difficult that first night would have been without some good, Christian friends to support me. I now know that my early arrival was necessary to give me comfort in the transition time. I was blessed to spend several more days with them. First, Katie left...then Esperanza...then Rodo...and finally A.B. However, the memories and the laughs have continued to bring ease to my spirit.

At La Cumbre, we all had our special moments--especially when A.B. and Esperanza spoke and sang in French.


The guys drove us to the mall. While they played in the arcade, Esperanza assited me on my first grocery shopping experience as someone living in Honduras--in other words, more than Coke and chips.

And yes, that is me wearing FLIP-FLOPS! No socks, no closed-toes shoes! Oh my goodness! [Terry, don't have a heart attack.]

Can you smell the freedom? I have worn flip-flops as much as possible while down here.



In short, two things to remember...God is leading and knows exactly the timing for everything (even if you disagree at the moment). And, surround yourself with strong Christian friends who will encourage your Spiritual growth along these curvy, mountainous, and sometimes dangerous roads.

Is it time to teach already???

Even the teachers can have trouble starting the school year. I have found this to be true as I have stayed very busy the past few weeks. However, it is good to be settling. Look forward to more updates soon about the previous weeks. For now, I want to tell you about the school to which the Lord has brought me.

Academia Los Pinares is located on the top of a mountain in a community called El Hatillo. The climate is incredible! It has been so nice and pleasant up here (and sometimes cool) when the city below has been sweltering. The school has almost 800 students--I have a lot of names to learn as I will be the librarian (or Library Information Specialist as we are called these days) of all of them.

I was introduced as a new teacher in two different chapels on Thursday (once to the 7th-9th graders and then to the 10th-12th graders). However, I have seen little of them since that first day of school. The two half days went well; I had no classes and stayed busy with all the prep work to be done before students can check-out.

This week is full of "first days" for me. I have a full week of orientations with the elementary classes (24 that range from Pre-K to 6th grade). Today I saw one class of each of the following grades: Pre-K, Kindergarten, and 5th grade. Each class gives me butterflies, because each class is another set of students with different ideals and expectations.

The 5th grade class today was where I saw Jesus today. I have been especially nervous about how the kids would react to me since they have loved the previous librarian (who is still here at the school until December to help with the transition). They are still young enough to love you to death but old enough to reject the change. They expressed a heart-warming amount of love and appreciation for Mrs. Birky. Yet, they also welcomed me and were excited to have my guidance. Jesus spoke through those children to show me that every single one of us has special gifts and qualities that no one can replace. However, we can all be appreciated for what we can offer. I could not have asked for a better welcome than from that group of students today.

Now for the fun part...the pics. [Thanks, Mom, for the digital camera. I have definitely been using it a lot since the summer.]

Outside view of the library. The door to the left is where the students enter the classroom area (separate room attached to the library). Under the awning is the main entrance. The library is the top floor; the bottom contains the administrative offices.







When you walk through the glass front doors, you are surrounded by light--the amount of windows brighten the room considerably. The space is open and extremely welcoming. [And look, Jayne, no room for bulletin boards :)]











Standing at the main entrance, looking to the left, you will notice the circulation desk and the Easy and Juvenile sections. The right side of the room has a table with two computers, the magazine section, and the high school literature.



View from the middle of the library, looking at the main entrance. You can also see the office located behind the circ desk. If I were to turn around directly from looking at the entrance, I would be looking out the window at the soccer field next to the gym.



The library is fairly long. Here I am standing in the Easy section. I love the carts of books--very attractive and easy to keep organized. Several large, stuffed animals allow the kids to have free reading time and relax during the browsing time for each class visit.



The classroom area isn't large, but it is very useful to be set apart from the library with little distractions.

That's all for tonight. Love you all and miss you--especially, you, Christopher Nicholas Big Boy!